Many years ago, way before I had my son, when I was just a single gal with married friends starting families, it annoyed me when those friends insinuated that I just didn’t get “it” because I wasn’t a mother. That I couldn’t understand what it was like to be one until I joined this exclusive club myself.
Ok, maybe not. But then explain it to me. I could certainly empathize(or maybe its sympathize) that becoming a mother was indeed a big change.
Yeah, not so much.
I was naive. It is one of those experiences that you just can’t fully comprehend until you’ve lived it yourself – the monotonous first days, weeks and months; having to take care of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING for this tiny, human being from the big things like feedings and diaper changes to the little things you take for granted for yourself like clipping fingernails; watching the sun set on a long day, being bone tired, and realizing that the work day is not over yet, not by a long shot.
And I wondered, why had one that no one prepared me for this? Did they all really forget?
I don’t think so. At least, not intentionally.
I don’t think the “secrets of motherhood” are withheld until you officially become a member by giving birth. There are plenty of books written about the experience and plenty of moms willing share their stories. But, at least in my case, I was so focused on the pregnancy – what to expect, if you will – that I didn’t give any thought to what comes next. For me, giving birth was the end of the road. I didn’t realize that’s when the hard work begins. I was wearing rose-colored, first-pregnancy glasses.
Not this time, baby. Glasses are off! And yet, I’ve chosen to have another child. In some ways, this pregnancy is scarier because I know there are many sleepless nights ahead. But I also know that it gets easier with time. And its totally worth it!
I’m not sure why all women don’t share what the journey to motherhood is really like. Maybe they’ve blocked it out. Maybe they don’t want to scare another would-be mom away from one of the greatest experiences in life with horror stories of all the bad stuff that comes along with it.
Or maybe its simply mommy-brain, the memory loss that results from lack of sleep, shifting hormones, and way too many items on the daily to-do list.
For me, that’s it. I’m happy to share my experiences – the beautiful and the ugly – with anyone who asks…at least, what I can remember of them.
This post was inspired by Exploiting My Baby by Theresa Strasser, a book about the comedic writer’s first pregnancy. As a member of the From Left to Write Book Club, I received a copy of the book for free. This post is not intended as a review.
I really liked your post. It doesn’t matter, even if moms don’t sugarcoat it for you, you don’t believe how god-awful those first few months can be until you experience it for yourself! Probably like jumping out of a plane.
Thank you!
Loved your take on this. It may actually inspire another post for me, because I think that the experience ends up being so personal, so intricate to the particular players involved that to try and voice it is almost impossible. At the same time, this whole idea of mommy blogging, or even a pregnancy book, is breaking through those walls. Maybe it really will be different for the mothers of the next generation.
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Thanks! So true. I’d like to read that follow up post.